I read in today's 'Radio Times of a scene in a former episode of Eastenders in which a woman chained up another woman , who was pregnant , and threatened to carry out a DIY caesarean section , to steal her unborn baby . . .
What Obscene Vile Filth BBC1 keep serving up at 8pm . I've watched loads of films featuring disturbing scenes but 'Enders is avidly watched by a lot of children . I've stated my views on it here before .
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I  generally do'nt worry about things anywhere near as much as I once did , and I know that us humans can if we have to learn to adjust to more than we think we can , and that ways can be found to solve or alleviate most problems but today at last my anxiety has started to get the better of me , following something as mundane as an unanswered 'phone call , number withheld , no message left , this morning .
There may well be nothing in the near future at least for me to worry about at all .
Last night I had a ghastly dream about Ex-Partner and I being together and absolutely hating each other .
I watched last nights programme about Simon Rattle and the Berlin Philharmonic touring the far-east .
How cool , how demanding and rewarding it must be to be part of something so talentedly , professionally special .
I could work with animals in some way .
But , but , I do'nt drive and maybe I really am just so damn sleepily unstably unemployable .
I'd like to be some sort of writer , but with so little experience of life worth writing about  . . .
Goodnight , until tomorrow . . .