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Archives for: February 2008, 25

Both Ends Burning

by SloshedAndVexed @ 2008-02-25 - 23:42:37


Roxy Music . (c) EG Records Ltd .
When Bryan Ferry was seriously Cool . .
( click twice on play to hear ) .

disordered moods/do'nt touch

by SloshedAndVexed @ 2008-02-25 - 21:56:37

Dr. Paul Keedwell , an expert on mood disorders at London's institute of psychiatry ,  in his book ' how sadness survived' refers to depression as a 'defence mechanism' that has 'adapted in the human species to give us long term benefits' , such as making those suffering with it stronger , tougher , more resilient  .
He seems to probably be referring more to those who have managed to pull themselves out of a bout of depression than to anyone afflicted with it long-term , though that's not entirely clear from the article - in today's 'Mail .
Anyone who can manage to permanantly 'shake off' clinical depression must already have strength of character , and I'm sure that a temporary bout of depression can imbue compassion and understanding towards others struggling with it , but  I can't see how it can make them stronger .
Although anyone cursed with long-term physical or mental pain is forced  to become inured to it to a degree , helping to perspectivise lesser problems  .
But - apart from that a short bout of clinical depression should enable understanding and compassion for others who are depressed - I can think of no positive aspects of depression which at its worst debilitatingly feeds on itself and is soul-destroying .
****************
Elsewhere in the paper a piece about a book called ' Do'nt Touch ! The educational story of a panic ' which includes the findings of a study by researchers from Manchester's Metropolitan University , about  many nurseries and schools having  a policy of staff not being permitted  to have any physical contact with the children  , except in very specific circumstances with another adult witness present .
For fear of being accused of sexual abuse of course , by for example putting a plaster on a child , or helping or comforting an injured or upset child .
How dismayingly absurdly daft , as if anyone in their right mind could possibly attach any sinister connotation to such blatently humanly natural and innocent interaction .
So professional people working with children have to carry on as if there's something shameful and dirty about any physical contact : What sort of a message is that to the children ?
What a twisted society in which some can't tell the difference between natural , appropiate , spontaneous affectionate reassurance  and despicable abuse .

Female vs Male domestic abuse .

by SloshedAndVexed @ 2008-02-25 - 01:44:55

On Radio5live  now there's a discussion about female violent domestic abuse of males .
It's said that one in four women , and one in six men become victims of 'domestic abuse' .
I hope those figures comprise only those who have been subjected to serious physical violence or regular nasty verbal / psychological abuse , and not anyone who's ever had an argument with their 'partner'  !
And it's not clear if these figures include gay or lesbian relationships . 
This is a very serious , very real issue , as of course is the sexual abuse of children by adults , though I wonder if the figures for that are liable to be artificially inflated by some charities , for financial incentives , for  example by categorising a child having seen either of its parents naked as exposure to sex =  abuse .
Some submissively inclined men may fantisise about being dominated by a woman , as may some submissively inclined women fantisise about being overpowered by a powerful men .
But obviously no one wants to be mutilated , stabbed , have  their ribs broken , etc . . .
Women generally are gentler , and physically weaker than men .
Though it seems that more women than we'd like to imagine do viciously abuse their male  partners ~ maybe because they are psychologically damaged by  having been abused themselves   ,  or even just because they enjoy it , who knows . .
Of course the police normally assume that , in such a situation , the man must be the villain , no matter what . .
It's disturbingly surprising how many men are now  'phoning in to Stephen Nolan on 5live who clearly are  genuinely very  frightened of their wives or partners .
I do'nt doubt that there are more female than male victims of domestic abuse , though there's far more help and support available to female than to male victims , and it does indeed seem that there's more female vs male violent domestic abuse than most of us might think . (And I'm in no whatsoever trivialising or excusing male violence towards women .)
Has this always been so , or , if more women are regularly , violently attacking their male partners . . . . . Why  ?
Perhaps , depressingly , it's another sign of our society having become a nastier , scarier place , though I still cling on to the belief that  most of us are 'okay' .

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