I've just read the chapter in Susan Crosland's book 'Great Sexual Scandals' about  Lord Boothby(1900 - 1986); I love her sentence " His sense of right and wrong was personal and spontaneous " .
In the early 80's when support for the Campaign for Nuclear Disarmament (CND) was at its peak
Lord Boothby wrote a letter published in The Times cleverly diagnosing psychological motives for the activities of the CND 'peace campaigners' , which struck a chord with me .
I wrote to him enquiring  if  if he'd written about that at any greater length elsewhere and he replied in tiny , neat handwriting that he thought that his letter expressed his theory succinctly enough .
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It was lovely this afternoon when my cat Leo found  and lovingly approached me in a neighbours garden . He's currently outdoors keeping the mouse population down .

I heard Heather Mills McCartney say on the radio this morning that there's things she just can't ever talk publicly about because the general public would'nt  accept them .
I would have no idea whether she and / or Sir Paul were telling the truth if they did both talk publicly about life with one another but , I think I know what she means : That he is seen as a 'national treasure' , a thoroughly nice , decent , talented bloke who carries the legacy of the legendary 'Beatles  ... And he certainly does generally come over as a nice chap ...  And I think that if allegations were publicly made against him , whether truth , exaggerated half-truth or downright lies dramatically at variance with the general public perception of him then many would simply not believe them , though , I have to say , especially coming from Heather who does not seem to have a history of  always telling the truth , at least that's my perception .
I once knew , and for a while adored , though I was not 'romantically involved with' a woman who almost everyone saw as being 'Such a lovely person' , which she could be but to cut a long story short I annoyed her , and I was and am 100% certain that it was she who sometimes , knowing I had a 'phone by my bed , dialled my number late at night , hanging up if I answered in time (that was before the 1471 service became available) .
But I just instinctively knew that I could'nt mention my certainty of her responsibility for that to anyone because I do'nt think anyone would have believed her capable of that .
What is popularly believed to be the truth can be very relative to people's perceptions , and , in the end , to what it suits them to believe .
It is very easy to believe something negative of someone who it's easy to dislike or feel suspicious of or to scapegoat  , and very easy to disbelieve anything bad of someone who it's easy to like .
Also it's interesting how the 'popular' news media generally works ; There are the villains , the heroes , and those , such as the McCann's , who everyone has their own personal opinion of .
At the time of the murder and torture of toddler James Bulger by two ten year old boys in Liverpool there was widespread public interest , sadness , sympathy for the poor victim and rage and revulsion against the children responsible , to the point of a mob of liverpudlians trying to attack the Police Van holding the then suspects , and many callers to radio phone-ins saying the two ten year old perpatrators should be treated no differently from any adult having done the same thing .
At around the same time there was another awful case of a teenage girl , Suzanne Capper , having been held captive in a room and hideously sadistically tortured for days and nights on end by a group of young people before being set on fire and dying in hospital - apparently all because of some petty , probably imagined grievance they had against her .
The James Bulger murder was shocking and upsetting enough though somehow I found the other case I just mentioned even more chiling , because the perpatrators were old enough to be assumed to know better and due to the appalling length of time that they continued their unimaginable wickedness , which any of them could have stopped , by 'phoning the Police , at any time .
And yet while the James Bulger case is well remembered , the Suzanne Capper one is not , and was far less reported I suspect due to the extremely disturbing nature of it , and to it being somehow overshadowed by the James Bulger case in the news at the same time .
Perhaps it's even more shocking if 10 year olds , who are expected to be innocent children themselves commit awful crimes , though 10 year olds are young enough to come to fully realise the enormity of their actions and to , hopefully , profoundly regret them when they mature , and personally I'd be more worried about the perpatrators of the other case I mentioned being 'loose' in society , as they probably are now because both cases were sometime ago in the 90's , and the latter one was soon forgotten about .
My Stat's here have gone 'through the roof' since I named the 'mystery royal' here yesterday :
Well that's basically just 'an entertainment' , a  fun , unimportant 'guessing game' , though not that we do'nt need distractions from the often depressing nature of  the 'news .

Saw them at the Hemel Hempstead Pavillion in , probably , 1978 : The band started playing then Dave Vanian came on stage , with his 'vampiric' hairstyle and in his usual Black Edwardian clothing , white shirt and black tie , started singing , then , as a pre-arranged stunt , got dragged off stage by security 'roadies' ... It was a great gig , even though idiots pulled out plugs towards the end - The Damned continued anyway . After that I went to four of their gigs in London , including in December 1979 at the old Finsbury Park Rainbow , when all the front seats were ripped out , speakers were dropped on peoples heads , and God knows what else ..
'New Rose' is generally considered to have been the first Punk single , and yet , all the programmes or films about 70's Punk just tell the old Sex Pistols Story as if we have'nt heard it dozens of times before , and The Damned are unlikely to be in it for more than 1o seconds ..
Anyway here's 'Dr.Jeckyll and Mr.Hyde' , from 1980 .
(click twice on play to hear) .

Debate : Does some music sound better on vinyl ?
Well , does it ?

In case you did'nt know , a quick google 'blog search will reveal that the member of the Royal Family who was allegedly blackmailed re. an alleged video is said to be Viscount Linley .

One of my favourite Jazz albums is the HMV Jazz Michel Petrucianni Collection : To quote from Deborah Valentine's appreciation of him in the cd notes : " ... Petrucianni's distinction was not only in the power of his immense talent but in the physical handicaps he had to subject and subdue in order to reveal it . Born with a wasting disease , osteogenis imperfecta , this presented practical difficulties to his playing which he overcame with profound effect . To look upon the intensity of that tiny frame hunched over the keys of the grand piano , the misshapen hands that touched them , the pervading energy that he radiated , was to see that his style could not be anything other than truly individualistic. ... "
He died in January 1999 .
The most 'accessible' , immediately likeable track is probably September Second but I decided to 'blog his rendition of 'Lush Life' .
(c) Blue Note / Capitol / EM I .

So the Royal concerned is male , not a Prince , and it is'nt Peter Phillips . I do not know who it is and , oh , why do I care - I'd just like to be 'in on the secret' I suppose . Some consider Lord Freddie Windsor to be the most likely candidate . Though I do not know who it is or which if any of the alleged allegations are true and I am not alleging anything against anyone .
It does'nt really seem too much to ask to expect anyone 'in line to the throne' , however distantly , to steer clear of any illegal involvement with Class A drugs however
Blackmail is a very nasty crime , far worse than cocaine use , and gay sex may be an embarrassment but is no crime , so , whatever the unnamed 'minor royal' and his male aide may or may not have said or done I respect him for not succumbing to the alleged blackmail .

Just watched a recording of the Spanish tv interview , three days ago , with Kate and Gerry McCann , having read this morning of an apparently eminent Portugese Psychiatrist and also a Criminologist having diagnosed , from watching the interview , that Kate McCann is dishonestly pretending to be distressed , that she is dominated by her husband and that the interview was a 'circus act' .
Who pays the piper etc. and that's the Portugese press for you : If Kate and Gerry do'nt show their feelings in public they are cold and have something to hide , and if they do they are dishonest and have something to hide .
If they insist that they're innocent of involvement in their daughters disappearence they are defensively covering up their guilt , and if they ignore the wild , lurid allegations they must be guilty of them .                                                                                                                                                   Is'nt it obvious that certain popular Portugese newspapers are being officially encouraged to keep trying to blacken the McCann's reputations because if the general public believe that the distraught , grieving parents are themselves responsible for their loss , as opposed to there being either a solitary paedophile or an organised gang of abductors of children (which , incidentally , there has been : as reported in last Saturday's 'Mail , children having been borrowed  from the Casa Pia orphanage in Lisbon to satisfy the perverted desires of prominent men in Portugese Society : a scandal covered up for around 30 years before being exposed by  former resident turned lawyer Pedro Namora ) at work in Portugal  then the country's tourist-funded economy will remain intact .
I admit  I've had my 'wobbly' moments in my support of the McCann's , but , if you think about it , the idea that they suddenly discover that they've accidentally killed Madeleine ,  stuff her body into a small fridge for 25 days then join their friends for a fun evening during which they eat , drink  and partake in a quiz , then feign shock at finding her missing at 10pm , then do all they can to attract worldwide publicity to the case : Well is'nt that just  absurdly implausible to put it mildly ?
I hope that in a few months or less their 'arguido' status will be lifted , freeing them and others to talk publicly in much more detail about the tragic for them case which we all hope will soon be resolved one way or another , but which unfortunately seems destined to remain a mystery .

Shakespears Sister , from 1996 , (c) Warner Music UK Ltd : Great track , only just discovered it ~

On Victoria Darbishire's 5live programme this morning , following  a listener  already having promised to make a formal complaint about discussion of women's 'cage fighting' on the radio at that time of day , she played a sound-clip of a sex scene from the new BBC tv drama 'The Tudors'  which sounded hilarious , then invited listeners to 'phone in re. their experiences of having embarrassedly  watched televised sex scenes with their parents or grandparents , and she recalled having once watched a 'nature scene' of whales mating , with her parents .
In my childhood first we did'nt have a television , then did , then did'nt , then did again .
I remember my Dad having once turned the tv off when a scene of a fully clothed couple kissing on a bed came on .
Much more recently I watched the movie 'Monsters Ball' (If you do'nt know about it , the title is very offputting and misleading) with my Mum , having forgotten about the realistically portrayed sex in it , which was no more than very slightly embarrassing - It did'nt bother her , and it's easy to forget that the elderly were once young .
There's still somewhat of a 'nudge nudge , wink wink , it's disgusting is'nt it but we're so fascinated by it ' ethos in the UK , and possibly more so in the USA , who can boast the planets biggest pornography industry yet apparently many of its citizens were outraged by an accidental glimpse of one of Janet Jackson's nipples on live tv about 4 years ago .
I recall the legendary 'moral campaigner' Mrs . Whitehouse in the 70's who seemed to get slightly confused between violence , nudity and sex .
Then there's 'bad language' , and I can certainly see the point of there being words to effectively use on occasion to emphasise ones anger or despair ; I do'nt like , though can easily cope with if I have to , hearing anyone using those words again and again in their everyday conversation , or 'rock stars' or 'comedians' using them because they think that's clever or funny , and , as for it now being called 'strong language' : It is'nt ; Endlessly repeating those words is simply weak .
Last night I watched the movie 'Little Children' which is very much in the style of 'American Beauty' , about what's really going on beneath the respectable veneer of suburban america : it's psychologically interesting and occasionally funny but ultimately kind of 'left me cold' .

The Doors : The Crystal Ship : (c) wea records

I seem to be kind of running out of inspiration at the moment re. this 'blog though I will say that I heard of another case of a cat being shot by someone with an 'air-rifle/pistol' (it survived but must have suffered much pain and distress) : Over the years I've heard of many incidents of children or teenagers having fired  'air-gun' pellets into animals or other children , and  one of a pellet  ricocheting off a wall and flying into someones eye .
At close range or used without proper care and attention they can cause very nasty injuries or fatalities to humans or animals .
I believe that anyone who is or looks 16 or over can legally buy them : Their ownership should require a licence , only available to people aged 18+ who have no criminal record for any violent offence .
I expect it can be fun to use them responsibly for target practice ; It should be illegal to use them in any other way .

This morning Leo (cat)  brought in an almost black rotten apple and left it for us in the hall : The indentations he'd made on it made it resemble a miniature Halloweeen Pumpkin , and ,
Oh Yes , Halloween , an excuse for children , and adult weirdo's and fetishists to dress up in silly costumes and for anti-social teens and children to throw fireworks at people .

Watched Hostel 2 , out on dvd on Monday : What I like best about Hostel 1 is where the survivor escapes and gets some revenge : It's suspenseful until the end .
The survivor of that gets killed near the beginning of Hostel 2 , which has less of a revenge element to it , and an ending that I just have'nt 'got' yet .
Much of it seems quite akin to  some slightly surreal european 'arthouse' movie . 
Few  sequels match the original .
I'm making a 'fish casserole' which is a bit of an experiment , and as I put it all in together I think the fish will be very overcooked but hopefully it'll be  pleasantly edible  .
It's really quite cold out though Leo spends hours out there every day hunting mice .

I watched tonights 'dispatches' investigation into Madeleine McCann's disappearance , and , as if we needed further confirmation of what an abysmally inept local police investigation it was ..
I admit I've considered the possibility that she somehow accidentally died at the hands of one or both of her parents who , fearing for their reputations and careers enlisted the help of their 'professional' friends who they were  holidaying  with to cover up whatever happened , making it look like an abduction , and that the pain etched on Kate McCann's face is as much a sign of her guilt as of her grief .
But as I've said before the more you think about  that the less sense it makes and , with no obvious reason not to I think we should give the grieving parents the benefit of any slight  doubt .
As I've also said before I suspect this'll have books written about it and become one of the  most enduring  unsolved mysteries of the first half of this century .

So that renowned , self-appointed paragon of intellectuality has been opining that : " I do not believe in any persecution of the Muslim community . I think that would be counter productive"  , and that  he's in favour of : " Not letting them travel , curtailing of freedoms , strip searching people who look like they're from the middle east or from Pakistan . Discriminatory stuff , until it hurts the whole community ... "
If he said that the UK needs to tighten up its border controls and checks on would-be immigrants and  to be able to deport non UK citizens found gulity of committing serious crimes , and that Mi5 seem to be doing a very good job of preventing terrorist outrages in our country by intercepting telephone and internet traffic and surveilling suspected young male al- quaeda sympathisers I'd entirely agree with him .
Admit it Martin Amis you are a silly attention seeking , publicity seeking prat and we do'nt need your peurile contributions to this important debate .

I'm not psychotic but do suffer from some depression and isolation and today I finally again tried the 'drop-in' centre a bus ride from here which I mentioned in a 'blog post once before ;
Quite a depressing experience as the other users of it who I saw or met there are so unintelligent and uninteresting , and the CPN who is in charge of the place , in a separate room because I'm a new user who they wanted to know more about  , kind of spoke to me  as if I'm a child or a   delinquent young teenager , knowing almost nothing about me .
The only other time I went there , in the summer , he'd asked me if I'd "been drinking" , which implies drunkenness , and on that hot afternoon  I had indeed drunk one  pint of Fosters  :  Today he said I'm welcome to go there as much as I like when it's open "so long as you behave yourself" - Oh How damn , fucking insulting -
Okay I know that the vague , bland , euphemistic term ' mental health problems ' can encompass quite a lot , including alcoholism , drug addiction and behavioral issues but , it's just , I do'nt need that ...
If , for example , I check into a hotel  I do'nt get that crap , because it's taken for granted that one is a civilised person ..
If I really felt that I wanted to and could benefit from becoming a regular user of that place I might not mind so much but , oh , they have a weekly art group - Not for me as I do'nt have the talent , and weekly bingo and a visit to a bowling alley - Just not for me I'm afraid . I heard that some of the users have a holiday to Spain once a year , but , to have to share a room with some boring , irritating bloke - I'd rather never leave home again !

Oh , So bored with hearing about obesity , childrens school dinners , junk food etc . , and , what does that mean anyway ? That full fat cheese , butter and bacon are not junk food whereas burgers but not sausages are ? - That oven chips are verboten whereas greasy roast potatoes are okay ? That wine is fine but beer is to be sneered at ?
Re. What I wrote in advance of last nights classical talent show , it seems that what I'd heard about it may have been slightly misleading and I was'nt trying to 'put down' young people at all , not in the slightest and I still like to think of myself as being young-ish , I was just saying that there seems to be  a bit too much emphasis on superficial 'image' nowadays . 

I hear there's to be a new television 'talent show' offering a record contract to the winning young Classical Musician - They have to be good musicians but of course they also have to be good looking , etc .
I do'nt listen to a lot of Classical music nowadays but  when I do I just try to get carried away by the music and  do'nt care what the musicians look like .
To press and package a CD costs around 50p so with  spectacular profit margins possible you can understand why , whatever the musical genre , anything that makes it more saleable seems a good idea .
True Classical enthusiasts do'nt care what the musicians look like so long as they're presentable on stage but  if being good looking and exuding some sexual magnetism can (a) earn people money and (b) just possibly act as a doorway to the world of Classical music for a few young people who initially only listen because they like the look of the performer then I suppose why not ,
and if someone is incredibly nice looking And exceptionally musically gifted , as no doubt  some musicians are then all the better for them .
I just find it a bit sad that some of us are so shallow if we only want to listen to music performed by good looking young people or to vote for political parties who have relatively young and pleasant looking leaders .
Most of us want to look our best which is only natural and healthy but there is too much emphasis on glamour over quality , style over substance and youth over experience nowadays .

Went out the back door this morning to discover a decapitated dead bird on the ground out there ; at least the adorable Leo did'nt bring it in !
In Lowestoft this afternoon one of those old grey bearded 'religious' nutters in the high street , having erected a banner on an old pram decrying Sinfulness and Sinners ; Well it's obvious what he's on about is'nt it : Sex : Do they do that in Lowestoft then ? , There's certainly precious little else to do there .
On the bus on the way there was reading in the 'Mail about the 'high class' , 'exclusive' private London Night Clubs Mahiki , The Cuckoo Club and that 'second home' to our dear heirs to the throne Princes William and Harry,  Boujis , where they and their friends get unlimited free drinks .
And we are talking about drinks costing from £20 to well over £100 each .
Cocaine use is rife at all three clubs , where the 'well bred' , 'classy' , 'beautiful' young people snort lines of it off of toilet seats and toilet roll holders in the cubicles .
Most of them having mega-rich parents who give them unlimited use of free credit cards .
I'm not a Socialist , as I think history has taught us that supposedly trying to legislate against inequality only serves to grind down the masses , whilst their rulers enjoy permanant five-star multi-millionairre lifestyles .
I do'nt 'hate the rich' , but , spending thousands of pounds on drinks every week , for the privilege of socialising exclusively with other pampered , ultra-rich  trust-funded young merrymakers , when others are homeless and penniless does seem a little obscene .
Some on 'the left' will argue that one can excuse theft , muggings , shoplifting and drug dealing on the basis that there's no other way for young people not born into privilege to  try to emulate their pampered counterparts born in the same country but into a different world .
I disagree , wrong is wrong , inequality is here to stay and there's nowt we can realistically do about it .
I might be tempted to try cocaine if offered it at a nightclub but , none here and I do'nt go to them and  do'nt want to develop an expensive , psychologically addictive habit .

Just watched the German movie 'Nowhere In Africa' , about a Jewish family living in Kenya during WW2 ,which is very well acted and filmed .
On wednesday evening I watched Basic Instinct 2 : A hilarious opening sequence and rather a limp ending but in between it's entirely watchable and more intelligent than B/ I  1 .
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Have been given , by a couple in this road a cd of music recorded by their son and his friend , which they brought out themselves rather than through any record company , with lyrics on one track by his girlfriend : They're quite good musicians but the overall result seems to me to be pretencious self-indulgent rubbish which no one would want to buy unless as a kindness to them , but , what do I know , even the  beatles were initially turned down by a record company but , that's what I think and , if I say nothing to them about it I'll seem discourteous , if I tell them the truth of what I feel it'll be downright rude , if I say "it's great" I'll be downright dishonest , and if I say "hmmmm , it's , interesting" they'll know what I really mean , so , advice please :  What , if anything , should I say to them about it ?

There've been so many spiders webs this year , in the yard and round the back of the house , it seems a sin to walk through them and yet sometimes that can't be helped . On Tuesday morning I was closely watching this one , going round and round , assiduously adding new threads to its wondrously woven web at every turn ..

The Blue Eyed Boy ... Not really but , good effect , eh
(click on photo' twice to see more clearly) .

Lovely Southwold is not the most pleasant of places today , it being cold , grey , raining and the eerie sounds , all day long , from the nearby demolition site seem to resemble some giant wooly mammoth slowly emerging back to life having been entombed in the arctic for thousands of years .
I've just had my 'flu vaccine jab in the church , hardly a religious experience , though I'm very glad to have been invited for it , presumably because I've had occasional moderate asthma in the past .
My Mum has decided not to have her 'flu vaccination this year because after having it last year she developed what may have been the 'flu , if not a very nasty 'cold and because most of her friends think that it does more harm than good and I just hope that she does'nt have cause to regret that decision .
Living with my Mum at my age , as I have been for getting towards a year is usually fine , given that we generally get on really well and we're not together anything like all the time , but , I have almost no social life and keep meaning to try a pub one evening then feeling too tired .
I'd like to travel somewhere , as would my Mum but , though I did go to Venice with her two years ago I just feel reluctant to travel with her , and , there's nothing embarrassing about her but I'd just feel embarrassed about being seen to be vacationing with my Mother , or even at people not realising that we're Mother and Son .
I felt especially grotty yesterday ; I'd been feeling 'half dead' all day , could'nt wake up properly at all , then I suddenly felt unusually upset and agitated in the evening .
Basically I love my Mum and my Cat very much , I like living here and hate living alone but I do so need a decent social life and a compatable woman 'partner' .
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I read in today's 'Mail a critique of the ever growing publishing phenomonom of books ghost-written for people who claim to have suffered horrendous physical and / or sexual abuse as children , giving all the lurid , shocking , miserable details , which sell astonishingly well especially in supermarkets ; I've never  read such a book and I do'nt get what the attraction of them is ; Maybe reading about someone having been so wickedly subjected to such brutality and depravity in their childhood who  as an adult has been able to create a decent life for themself and be a loving parent despite the memories and psychological scars is ultimately inspiring .
Though as such books seem to be 'a licence to print money' at the moment there has to be a faint question mark over the veracity of some of  the  disturbing stories or at least a possibility of a slight temptation to over-sensationalise to feed the demand for such lurid accounts , which one hopes are read entirely sympathetically and are not anyones idea of entertainment or titilation .

I do'nt know - Tell Jokes ? - Though I have a sense of humour I've never been a teller of jokes and I do'nt know any apart from ones I've read here , some of which are good ones .
Other than that - I've no idea really , apart from being friendly to , and if necessary sympathetic and supportive to others here , which I believe that I am .