On Radio5live this morning Victoria Darbishire broadcast an interview with David and Jennifer Edwards whose 15 year old daughter Rosemarie was found dead in the New Forest last weekend - She had hung herself .
Which was followed by a discussion on relations between parents and teenagers , and about teens in general .
Rosemarie had taken without permission a can of soft drink and a packet of sweets which she only had to ask for from the shop where she worked part time , then apparently not having been entirely honest when asked about it by the shopkeeper , resulting in her dismissal from the job.
She felt very embarrassed and ashamed and her parents , her Father in particular were shocked and disappointed ; Her Dad expressed his disappointment and imposed the 'punishment' of 'grounding' her .
She walked into the forest sometime in the night . Now it's not up to me so say , and I've never been a Father but , though I'm sure that 'grounding' has its place I do hate that word and I did get the impression that if the Father was not such a controlling person the tragedy would not have occured .
Of course there must be 'boundaries' ,   but I think that any teenager should be entitled to make the odd silly mistake , feel bad about it and learn from it , as it sounds like Rosemarie already had , without their parents going too 'over the top' about it .
Though I hasten to add that of course her parents both feel terrible about the shocking tragedy.
In the 5live studio were two of the usual 'panel' on Radio 1's 'sunday surgery' programme , one of whom said that adults do'nt attempt to impose such 'punishments' on other adults who do silly things that they should'nt , and that teenagers are emerging into adulthood and that it's not necessarily a very good idea to treat them too much 'as children' .
She also pointed out how teenagers are ridiculed in tv comedies , i.e Catherine Tate , Little Britain , Harry Enfield ...
And then there's all the crime and anti-socialness perpatrated by some teens that we hear so much of , when in truth MOST teenagers are just doing their best to learn and prepare themselves for the rest of their lives and to socialise with their friends etc . , at a difficult age and in a sometimes harsh and confusing world , in which what might seem  'no big deal' to an experienced older person may seem of overwhelming   importance , and devastating if it goes wrong to a sensitive teenager experiencing things for the first time .
I wrote here yesterday that the UK's become such an overly liberal society which I think it has in terms of immigration , and official tolerance of a lot of 'anti-social' behaviours which can make
decent people's lives a misery , often seeming to value offender's rights and welfare above those of their victims .
Though conversely  illiberal as regards for example the smoking ban which as a non - smoker suits me and I can't disagree with it  , or the threat , now , to prosecute anyone lighting up in their own car , which is pathetically ludicrous , and not forgetting our rulers intentions not just to introduce compulsory identity cards but also to ultimately have a database of all of our dna .
Then there's the 'little dictators'  who like to espouse 'zero tolerance' in their own little domains . For example I once tried going to a 'day-centre' place in lowestoft for people with 'mental-health' issues , and was at first welcomed by a CPN there who then said "Have you been drinking ? " - I seldom drink in the daytime except on occasional hot days - I said " Yes , I've had one pint" and he explained that due to their rules I had to leave ;
I know why they say that and that it's the same in many such places but I still find it insulting -
OF COURSE some things should'nt be tolerated - If someone creates a disturbance there then ban or suspend them from visiting - And of course no alcoholic drinks should be taken in there but to say that I can't have a pint in a pub on a hot afternoon then go there if it's still open is to me both an insult and an infringement of my civil liberties as an adult citizen .
And the worst example of this would-be 'macho' 'zero tolerance' rubbish is Mike Hillier who says that he manages a 'day centre' in Norwich ;
I used to go there for some company when I was living alone and quite isolated ; After I met my 'ex-partner' Julie I introduced her to the place and she started going there more than me , and soon became a favourite of the staff there .
After she left me over 10 years later she was still going there every day but the staff there were assisting her in hiding from me there , mostly  in 'groups' , i.e 'art groups' that I did'nt go to , and , when I was there or when she thought that I might have been there she was allowed to stay behind in the art room or wherever until one of the staff went in to tell her that I had left .
That went on for weeks before I suddenly realised what was going on whereupon , just as the place was closing I slightly raised my voice and uttered one instance of the F word when I told him that I realised they'd been colluding with her in her childish , silly , unnecessary avoidance of me , which they would not have done for me if it had been the other way round - I was not at all threatening or drunk or anything of the sort - and for that he gleefully immediately sat down and typed me a peurile , threatening letter about 'zero tolerance' which arrived the next day which was my birthday , in 2005 .