Apparently it's 40 years since consensual practice of the male homosexual 'act' was decriminalised . For males aged 21 and over .
Why was it criminalised in the first place ?
Why are plenty of , especially 'older' people still bothered by thoughts of what some men may choose to do together in private ?
And why is lesbian sex either accepted , tolerated  or ignored ?
And what business is it of anyone's what some adults may consensually gratify themselves by doing in private ?
I certainly do'nt have all if any of the answers .
I can surmise that plenty of people , including myself find the thought of
'the' gay male penetrative act to be undesirable and distasteful .
And then there is 'AIDS' , though obviously there was plenty of anti gay-ness before that .
Then there's  the tendency of a few gay men to want to be blatently 'loud and proud' about it , as opposed to the gay or otherwise female instinct to be discreet about sex .
My late Father once went for a meal at the home of a work colleague who had also invited a gay male couple  ;
Apparently , during the meal , one of them said something like : " I suppose you'd like to know what we do in bed , which is ...... " !
Why is it that no one thinks anything of two women walking along hand- in- hand or arm- in- arm but that two men doing the same is considered  controversial .
I can only say that , having previously lived over the road from a gay pub and having socialised with gay men and lesbian women I feel and felt relaxed with that , so long as no one tries to impose on me in that way , which , though I had occasional polite offers , no one did .
A friend of my Mum's who is slightly older than her was somewhat disturbed by Michael Ball's exudance of gayness during his televised 'prom' concert on Monday .
Some women who have problems with male homosexuality may feel disturbed by the thought of some men not being 'strong and masterful'
romantic-hero types .
Some men disturbed by it may be externalising  tendencies of their own which for some reason they can't feel comfortable with .
I suspect that there's much more lesbian activity than one might imagine but that women are just much more relaxed and discreet about it .
No one should have sex 'in public' (unless at some private adults only party) and no one should try to impose their interest in or lust for sexual activity onto others but I think that most of the controversy about homosexuality is related to peoples disgust at the thought of "the" male homosexual "act" , which is certainly not to my taste but ..... whatever adults want to consensually , privately get up to amongst themselves is really a private matter that has nothing to do with anyone else .
Afterthought : If Oscar Wilde were alive today he'd probably be elected as the next London Mayor !

Just watched , with my Mum , a movie called 'The Beautiful Country' which seems to be a Vietnamese / US co-production , and , it makes a change to see such a film without Michelle Yeoh or Chow Yun Fat in it !
It's about a Vietnamese young man ,  fathered by an American GI who eventually travels to the US in search of his Father .
It's slow but not boring , and sad but not depressing .
Reminds me of one of my next-door neighbours in Norwich , a young woman who claimed to be half-vietnamese , fathered by a US soldier ,
and to have been raped from three years old .
She was certainly very 'troubled' ; I did'nt have much contact with her after she once called the police making imaginary allegations re. Julie and myself but I do hope she's okay .

Just been listening , again , to Victoria Darbishire on Radio5live : Most of todays programme consisting of a recorded interview with the parents of Amy Winehouse's husband , and then ,
a live interview with Amy's Father , Mitch , who 'phoned in , punctuated by many comments
from listeners 'phoning in and emailing / texting ;
Her Father in law thinks that she should not be given any music awards due to her use of class-A drugs ;
Which to my mind is ridiculous : Should we then retrospectively strip Eric Clapton , The Rolling Stones , Elton John and so many others of awards they may ever have received ...
The availability and use of such drugs within the music business just seems to 'go with the territory' , unfortunately ..
And  would it be fair to take away one source of self-esteem , the recognition of her undoubted talent , from such a troubled person ?
Half of the listeners texting / emailing in thought that Radio 5 was 'dumbing down' by talking about Amy & Husband , and the other half thought  the use and abuse of Class-A drugs to be a very legitimate topic for debate .
One accused the BBC of running a racially prejudiced campaign against Amy because she is Jewish , which is blatently so utterly proposterous .
Two drug-addicts being together all the time are unlikely to be the best people to help , encourage and support each other to seek help and find the will-power to stop .
But they are adults and what can anyone do apart from offering support and hoping for the best .
I do not believe that our government , any government could not crack down very hard on the supply of these drugs if they really wanted to .

What a damn awful newspaper the d/express is ; They always have Princess Diana and/or Madeleine McCann on their front page , and todays Madeleine front page story was exactly as I read in the d/mail the Saturday before last .
I bought it to read about the author of a new book about Princess Diana claiming to have unearthed proof that she was 9 weeks pregnant when she died ; Interesting enough though it gave so few details .
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I said I was glad that Victoria Darbishire is back on Radio5live on weekday mornings ; A couple of days ago she was so sympathetic and compassionate towards , and gave so much time to Frances Lawrence , who was with her ,
whose husband , a headmaster , was stabbed and killed 12 years ago , and yet this morning she expressed no sympathy whatsoever to , and gave precious little time to a lady called Melanie who she had with her whose son was stabbed and killed .
Victoria Darbishire comes across as a nice lady and yet , I can't help drawing the obvious conclusion that it's so much easier for her to sympathise with a 'nice , middle class lady' whose husband was needlessly , tragically stabbed and killed than with an 'ordinairy , working class' woman whose son was needlessly ,  tragically stabbed and killed .
Oh , I so want to write of cheerful , glad , benificent tidings for us all , and yet , I can't always think of them , though , I'm okay , I described myself here as 'troubled' , but , not really , I have been and may be again  but  am generally fairly okay nowadays .

I'm watching Thelma and Louise , not seen it for at least 3 years , great movie .
Unrelated to that , though not entirelty  to my previous post here ,
I think that the human capacity to adjust to  change ,  loss ,  and subsequent pain is somehow stronger than we may imagine ;
None of us know what the future may bring . We can only  do what feels right ;
There's always a reason  . It's not always for us to know .
Some bright spiritual day it may all become clear .
Am I talking rubbish ? ~} ~ Tell me if you think So .

I started writing a reply to 'Somebloke's' post about drugs , which , though I have no direct experience of  apart from alcohol
(twice smoked a few puffs of cannabis in my teens , made me sick both times) was becoming long so I'll write my thoughts here .
Why is anyone stupid enough to try heroin or crack ?
Could be immaturity , a self-destructive streak or  the illusions of invincibility that most of us tend to have in our teens .
Also it does'nt help that some try to argue that the dangers are hugely over-rated and that it's not easy to become addicted .
Maybe a very few people might 'recreationally' use heroin at weekends and live  otherwise 'normal' lives , but that is I'm sure extremely rare .
And I suspect that some addicts want to seduce others into becoming addicts not just to make a profit by being  'small time' dealers  but also because , by getting others to become like them , they feel less alone .
And then there are the truly evil 'pimps' who , reportedly , deliberately get girls addicted so they can control them .
Then there's that insufferable drug addict Pete Doherty who some see as some sort of talented bohemian romantic hero , though what I've heard of his music sounds worse than average to me , because he's young and good looking , writes poetry and is associated with the 'glamorous model' Kate Moss .
Amy Winehouse is undoubtedly talented , and if she proves unable  / unwilling to tackle her serious drug / alcohol addictions and to get her career back on track then that'll be a great shame not just for her but for the cd-buying , soul / jazz loving public .  If she were not to recover , and be dead by 25 then that would be just awful , terribly sad , but at least might influence some against taking up her reportedly druggy , boozy lifestyle .
The late 'Sid Vicious' of the Sex Pistols posessed very little talent though the second half of the documentary movie 'The Filth and the Fury' , chronicling his decline into sordid , terrifying , hellish heroin addiction gives a very powerful  , very real anti - drugs message .
So Tragic that , as you wrote 'Somebloke' , so many brilliant musicians
ruined their lives through drugs , and as you say the dangerous , entirely untrue myth that heroin somehow enhances musical creativity may still prevail in some circles . 

I put this on whilst having my breakfast this morning , and it sent tingles up and down me .
On a different musical note the Simon Bolivar Youth Orchestra from Venezuala are playing Shoshtakovich at the prom , live on bbc4 now , and what a rich , deep , polished , professional sound - The 2nd half ,
Bernstein's W/Side Story Suite , and probable encores , should be a treat .
Yesterday I unusually remembered to get a 'lotto' ticket , 12 different numbers and not one of them was drawn .

Saw it today : Disappointing : No humour or romantic interest ; Very  Intricately Clever action sequences but nearly all of it filmed with hand-held camera's , and kind of hard to follow with (a) not great picture quality , (b) constantly changing camera angles , and (c) sometimes not  very clear dialogue .
When I saw 'bourne 2' at a cinema I was a bit dissapointed though enjoyed it more on dvd , and I found 'part 3' more disappointing , and will not get the dvd , but will try it again when on tv .
It was also a  bit TOO similar to 1 & 2 , though not as good . I like the character Nicky and I'd have liked  Bourne to have spent more time with , and become more involved with her .
I made a damn idiot of myself by , after leaving the cinema , suddenly thinking I'd left my rucksack there , going back , looking for it with two cinema staff helping me , then asking at the ticket booth and the ice-cream etc. one if it had been handed in , then disappointedly leaving only to suddenly realise that it'd been on my back all the time ; Oh Dear , 'WOT AM OI LOIK' , as the norfolkers might say . 

Thirty years ago my Mum and Dad and I had an 'on the cheap' week away in a caravan in a muddy field in Yorkshire , near where some of my Mum's relatives lived .
I do'nt think that my Dad or I really wanted to go . On the way it was raining ,  there was a problem with the windscreen wipers and my Dad kept saying "Oh God , we're going to Crash" . When we got there the caravan accommodation was somewhat basic .
In bed in it on the evening of August 16th '77 I tuned in to a local station on which listeners were 'phoning in with their memories of , and requesting favourite tracks by Elvis Presley .
I've never been a big 'fan' of his and  was more into punk at the time but he did a great voice .
Watching the television news later that week at the home of one of My Mum's Aunts my Dad ,
who played the piano and was serious about Classical Music thought it hilarious and proposterous that such a fuss was being made about the death of "some pop star" .

The former British Mi5 Officer David Shayler , who in a newspaper interview ten years ago accused Mi5 and Mi6 of incompetence and illegality and alleged a failed assasination attempt on Gadaffi and who has subsequently claimed that the 9/11 atrocity was at least helped to succeed by the US government and security services , and strongly hinted that the death of Diana and Dodi may well have been an assassination , has suddenly stopped talking about all that and is claiming to realise that he is "The New Messiah" .
"It was in June that a psychic channelled the Spirit of Mary Magdalene and anointed me the Messiah..."
And he says that the 'Rod of Aaron' , the Staff said to have been carried by Moses's brother has a hebrew anagram written on it which translates as "David Shayler , Righteous King" .
He also claims to have psychically influenced football results , and all sorts of other extraordinairy stuff .
I do'nt believe that he believes a word of it ; I think that his former Secret Service masters offered him the alternatives of : (1) : ' Do a David Icke , Claim to be the New Messiah etc. , we'll write the script for you , never talk publicly of what you know about classified operations again , We'll give give you a generous pension so you'll never need to work again' , or ,
(2) 'Something very unpleasant is likely to happen to you , Anyone close to you will be at risk too . . . ' 
Which would you choose ? 

This morning Leo suddenly barged into the living-room with  a dragonfly , which he kept catching in his mouth then letting go - When liberated it flew away alright ; A short while later he brought into the kitchen  the corpse of a bird he caught a couple of weeks ago that I'd buried , which he'd dug up (urrrgh) - Well Done Leo , he's also encountered dogs , frogs , hedgehogs and seagulls during this his first Summer .

Well it's been an okay birthday , and thanks to all who conveyed their kind wishes re. my 450th decade .
I was worried because Leo (cat) was  missing for over four hours , I called him many times , then as soon as my Mum opened the door there he was !
With Love To All ,  ~  martin .

Birthday , and I'll sigh if I want to . . .
Nothing Special to do , not even a local friend who I could go out for a 'birthday drink' with .
People are wary of people who are lonely , thinking they might 'latch onto' and start pestering them .
I would not , I'm a bit selective about who I want as friends , and I admit  I've on occasions kept my distance from certain people who've seemed to want me as a friend , and , my lack of friends basically  comes down to my shyness , so far as I know , and I've found that , if I 'get in with' a group of people , in real-life and now also within this blogosphere , I get on quite well with a few   though  no matter how hard I may try , no matter how nice  and friendly I am I'm just not going to be one of the most popular .
Anyway I at least know that this birthday is going to be better than were some in the past . 

Behold , Ye Sinners ,
My Brethren , Forsooth ,
I bear thee Glad Tidings ,
of a miraculous Youth ,
born this very day , in 1862 ,
Now bringing his wondrous
Message to you ;
Be joyful , Be Merry ,
on this day of all days ,
Crack open the Sherry ,
and Remember this phrase :
A day like no other ,
I bring thee  for sure ,
And all Ye my people ,
I do thee implore ,
With all things abundant ,
Shall Ye with be blessed ,
for 'tis , as if thee hath  not guessed . . .
SAINT MARTIN'S DAY ! ! !

What is it with the UK ? - Drunken Idiots on the loose , attacking , murdering anyone who confronts them , parents and step-parents torturing their young children . . .
Of Course Thank God It's Not All like that ,  not all  the time .
The Chief Constable of Cheshire wants alcoholic beverages to be made more expensive so that 11 - 16 y.o's cannot so easily afford them ; Why penalise the rest of us , why not just 'come down hard' on whoever is supplying them with the drinks ?
And , people who drink then become agressive , it's not the drink that makes them like that , it's them drinking because thay want to disinhibit and provide an excuse for their nasty tendencies .
And are'nt alcoholic drinks much cheaper in Germany , France and elsewhere ? ~ So , What is it with the UK , and why ?

Raining , Raining ... But I'm so glad to no longer be in that tiny flat in norwich which got so intensely hot during the long hot summers early this century . There is or was a gang of young norwich lads known as the 'atl crew' ; 'above the law' . They got in with and/or intimidated one or two near-neighbours and on hot summer weekends would be out there drinking , always with someones loud music playing , from around 9am to 9pm , and urinating on the grass . Also they carry knives and more than once wrecked and stole from the local pub , attacking staff and customers and assaulting the landlady's daughter .
One very hot saturday evening one of the neighbours decided to have a 'party' - Extremely loud music blasting from speakers positioned outside his door , and not only the 'atl' lot but loads of other undesirables there too .
While talking on the 'phone to my Mum I breifly held the 'phone outside so she could hear some of what was going on . One of the 'partygoers' , who was extremely drunk knocked on our door and accused me of having 'phoned "the old bill" (police) - I said no I did not and I'm not going to talk to you - I shut and locked the door and he put his fist through the glass part of it , severing an artery and leaving  a trail of blood .
Of course I then did 'phone the police .  After they soon arrived the 'party' quietened down , and while I was sweeping up broken glass another 'partygoer' said to me more than once "you're dead , mate " -  I said "are you talking to me ?" and he said "well I'm not talking to the trees am I" - I said " oh shut  up you f***ing prat" and two girls shepherded him away .

How damn ludicrous that those damn 'protesters' are allowed to camp outside Heathrow Airport , and using up taxpayers money by having to be policed .
Just because they do'nt want to or can't afford to travel abroad they do'nt want anyone else to either .
And is'nt that the essence of left-wingery / socialism : Jealousy , Resentment , Negativity , Hatred . . .
Of course if they really gave a damn about 'global warming' / enviromental issues they'd do much better to protest against wastefulness of energy usage in homes , or flatulent cows .
Or to camp outside the Chinese Embassy .
Because Heathrow Traffic amounts to at most  0.1% of global carbon emissions  .

When I was I think 15 , probably in the Summer , I was in a suburb of London at some party connected to a  friend whose unusual name
sounded like a cross between a type of sofa and a type of monkey .
I can't remember all the details but I had 'been drinking' and I just wandered off , first into a school where there was some sort of parent-teacher  evening , and I recall a teacher being very patient with me , quietly and  politely asking me to leave .
Then I walked further along the road and managed to bluff my way into a party at someones house , where I fell asleep on the floor and left the following morning . I just had enough money on me to get trains back home to Kings Langley , hertfordshire .
Not very interesting I know but I wanted to write something and nothing happens in my life nowadays .

Was watching a 'Who Wants To be A Millionairre' celebrity charity thing which I think was a repeat , with Martine McCutcheon and Louis Walsh : The question was which is the most highly populated country outside of Asia : Brazil , the USA , Nigeria or Russia , and M  / McCutcheon
was opining that it must be Brazil or Nigeria because  hot weather makes people want to pro-create more , and Chris Tarrant said
something ironical about the Sahara Desert being , in that case , highly populated then (the answer was of course the USA) , and , something about the way he said it just made me laugh rather a lot . .

On the packaging on the loaves baked at the Norfolk based Metfield Bakery it says 'Baked With Passion' ;
Baked with precision  , efficiency , cheerfulness and even Love I can understand , but with Passion ?!!?   ~
Unless the bakers and bakeresses knead more than just the dough , causing other things to rise . . .

Had to turn off the news whilst having supper because the feelings of anger and revulsion about yet another UK couple having systematically tortured then killed their lovely young child would have given me indigestion .
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I know I'm not the most cheery or positive of people but I do have some sense of humour and fun and I'd love to be able to write some more cheerful , entertaining posts here , and , if something really funny happened in my life I'd write about it .

I'm glad that Victoria Darbishire is back on radio5live - Her programme this morning is live from Heathrow airport .
I did not know that the UK is the only country with the 'only one small item of hand baggage'
rule .
Are we not also the most 'politically correct' , i.e overly concerned not to upset ethnic minorities country ?
So everyone has to be treated as a potential terrorist . Statistically , what is the likelihood of an elderly white lady trying to blow up a plane ?    -      0%    ?
Okay so there was the white convert to Islam would-be shoe - bomber , so , alright , as a young middle-aged white male search me thoroughly if you must , but please be polite about it .
There has to be some profiling , some statistical assessment of risk . As long as all the security checks are done courteously then the Muslim Council of Great Britain should accept that .

Firstly if I irritated anyone by suggesting the 60-word thing to them I'm sorry , not my intention , just thought it might've been a bit of fun for some of us but ,  other people here have tried to get similar things going , some 'take-off' and some do'nt , it's not an issue .
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So cold when I stepped out this morning - I do'nt mean like mid-winter but certainly not at all summer-like either , and , this is the east coast of england but the last couple of summers here included many hot days and nights .
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I mentioned to my Mum that I'd like to see the forthcoming display of some of the chinese teracotta warriors and horses at the british museum , she said let's go , but , the trip would be tiring I think , I'll probably not go . I'd still love to learn to drive , not necessarily to London but , oh it'd be so great to be able to confidently drive but , at my age , it all seems so overwhelming I think .
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If the Portugese police have evidence that the McCanns and/or their friends know what happened to Madeleine and covered it up then they should arrest them : They have not : Under the circumstances the idea is proposterous and whoever is behind the nasty whispering campaign against the McCanns and their friends should be ashamed of themselves . The saga is going to run on and on I suspect , probably with no conclusive ending .

I've just got ... Just got so much sadness and regret , and normally do'nt write about it here 'cause (a) I do'nt want to bore or depress anyone , and (b) I am male so am not supposed to have such issues , and (c) If I did I'd get very well meaning people very kindly giving me advice that I've been given many times before but felt unable to act on .
                          Women will rightly get sympathy and understanding from other women and from men ; Men are supposed to be Strong , Confident , and just get on with their lives .
                         On R5live this morning they were talking initially about sex-change operations (which I definitely do'nt want to have !) but then branched off into the self-proclaimed  feminist lesbian on the programme talking about how men still opress women in so many  ways , and , whilst Obviously no woman wants to be threatened , attacked or assaulted most non-lesbian women do I think want men who exude a degree of strength and latent agression who they can defer to , and feel very put-off by men who ever appear vulnerable , or too adoringly devoted to them .
                       Not that I have no strength or that I cry often and I know that if I were simply more confident I could so much more easily find women friends or partners . And , if I had another partner , however 
good the relationship was , of course that would make a big posotive difference , though  even if I had that and was a £M/airre  , I still have pain inside me and I do'nt entirely 100% know where it all comes from . And not that I'm a sympathy-seeker ; It would be nice to have more understanding but in the end I'm 'on my own' , I know that .
                     For anyone who does'nt know   I was spending a lot of time here  with my dear Mum at her house since my ex-partner left me and I moved in here last November .  And , my Mum , my Cat , this house and garden , this town , our neighbours = all great , I  could'nt wish for better. I've felt so tired especially lately . I feel quite 'dead' for a lot of the time . I can lie in bed and feel almost like I'm peacefully floating either in the spirit world or in some void of nothingness .
                  I'm Not Suicidal and , though I may not care much  if I did I do'nt really want to die yet , at least not while my Mum and cat are alive. And I know it's possible , it really is still quite possible that my life could improve a lot . I tend to have phases of feeling better for a while then worse for a while , and , for sure , my life has in the past been  much worse than it is now . And , the stomach-pain , which is not due to anything 'serious' other than debilitating pain from time to time also gets better for a while then worse.
                  On occasions I can  be and come across as quite confident , even charming though more often just shy and probably  miserable . One of you wrote to me a while ago that you do'nt want me to become a hermit ; Not yet ,  but sometimes it seems to be maybe going that way !
                The truth is that I do not work ; I am not wealthy but I get by alright financially and , I'm all too aware that  most people pay , or have for a long time paid income tax/national insurance , which I have paid though not for some time . Am I Mentally ill ? - I do'nt think so , I mean , I'm not psychotic , although I have been and on occasions still do go through a lot of anguish and depression . 
                I'm well aware that many , perhaps most people will find my not working very off-putting , and that maybe I need to find 'one of my own kind' , i.e a woman who does'nt work due to psychological/emotional or depressive/tiredness issues . I lived with such a woman for over 10 years , and , although the way she left me was devastatingly awful for me , I certainly do'nt want her back . I do on occasions remember  the good times  , and still dream of her at least twice a week .
               Am I a 'freak' ? - No , I mean , everyone's different , and I may have come across as some sort of freak if  feeling very tense though  I have been much more relaxed , though no less tired lately .
As I've said before I'm clean and presentable etc. And I'm very capable of giving friendship ,  committment etc .
             I do'nt ask or expect anyone to understand . If anyone's read this then Thank You , I would'nt bother to write it if I thought no one would read it . And whilst I think it's probably unhealthy to get Too caught up in this 'blog - world I really appreciate my friends here , Thank You . Off to bed now . love to all , ~ martin .
              
              

Given to me by Jenray . . .
 
'A person I most admire' :

There's a few 'celebrities' who I like though do'nt know , and I sometimes admire people who we've heard about in the news who have responded  amazingly to terrible circumstances but one person who I truly admire is the late American Black Civil Rights Campaigner Dr . Martin Luther King who was courageous , compassionate , warmhearted , inspirational , strong , and who above all always advocated non - violent resistance to appalling injustice.