For any of you who may have been watching tonights C4 bore-a-thon repeating what we've all heard dozens of times before about Camilla Parker Bowles-Windsor , something you may not know of : From 'Princess Diana The Hidden Evidence' by Jon King and John Beveridge :
The night of June 11th 1997 :  Mrs PB was travelling to meet Prince Charles at Highgrove , on a stretch of road about 8 miles from there between the villages of Norton and Easton Grey in Wiltshire . According to Police reports she was travelling at some speed when her car , a green ford mondeo belonging to Buckingham Palace seemed to lose control and plough head-on into a Volvo Estate driven by a Carolyn Melville-Smith of Easton Grey .
The collision left Ms Melville-Smith's car overturned in a ditch - She suffered chest injuries .
Mrs PB was relatively unhurt  - indeed , she immediately climbed out of her car and fled the scene in a self- confessed state of "sheer terror"  ,leaving Ms Melville Smith trapped and in pain in her overturned car .
Following the 'accident' Prince Charles ordered Mrs PB's personal security to be considerably stepped up  - a curious response to an innocent road traffic accident .

There is much more : to type it all out would take me ages .

I watched 'Enduring Love' which I recorded the other night - Interesting - I would hate to be 'stalked' by anyone like Rhys Efans character in that , and , I've not stalked or been stalked by anyone , though I know about loneliness and I have ,  though very seldomly , been unexpectedly struck by someone and for a time been pre-occupied with them , and it never worked out happily .
There can I suppose be blurry divisions between love , infatuation and sexual longing .
I was never 'in love' with or in any way obsessed with my 'ex-partner' Julie , and  we never had a terrific 'sex-life' ,
and , none at all for the second half of our living together .
Though I did love her very much , and in the earlier years we told each other every day how much we loved each other .
She is quite significantly overweight , I mean , around size 18 - 22  , and , which to be honest , is not exactly and aphrodisiac .
She has a nice face and hair and , at her best  she is pretty , witty , warmhearted and fun ; At her worst she is morose , self-pitying , cold and passively agressive .
Which does not bring out the best in me , and she abandoned me on March 18th 2005 , cutting off all contact with me . We breifly sort of became a bit friendly again several months later , which did not last .
Strangely , just in the last 3 or 4 days I've started dreaming and thinking about her again  but , sadly , she is not going to contact me and if I were to contact her again it would virtually for certain not bring about anything posotive , and only bring all the pain of it all back to me which is the last thing I want .

Channel 4 Commission a documentary setting out to disprove once and for all the so called 'conspiracy theories' surrounding the death of Diana , Princess of Wales .
They deliberately leak to the press the story that it contains photo's or possibly even footage of the Princess dying .
This gives them the opportunity to say that , oh no , it's just one black and white photo , partially blanked out , which has already appeared in The Sun ;
All a stunt to advertise the programme , of course , and , next week , I shall watch it with interest .
All that Mr.Fayed ever says is that the " Nazi Murdering Bastard" Prince Philip ordered Mi5 to assassinate the Princess because she and his son Dodi , also killed in the crash , were engaged to be married and that the British Establishment  could'nt cope with the future King William having a Muslim Stepfather .
(And what a good devout Muslim Dodi Fayed was , I do'nt think . )
All Mr.Fayed's Spokesman Michael Cole ever says is that the late Princess went to her Barrister the late Lord Mishcon expressing fears that she was going to be assassinated .
So She Did but , the more one looks into it , the more highly suspicious , documented circumstances there are .
I will return to that .
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In yesterdays Daily Mirror it was reported that : "Child Porn is believed  to have been found on the computer of sole suspect (in the abduction of Madeleine McCann in the Algarve)Robert Murat , 33 .
Detectives also discovered links to depraved websites featuring other sickening images" .
Well , if they had discoverd nasty hard-core stuff involving young children they would surely have arrested him for that , which they have not .
And , as for links to websites featuring depraved , though not 'child porn' images , who has not done an
internet search either for consensual , legal adult stuff or for entirely 'innocent' data and had returned links to  sick bestiality or other  vile sites ?
I still have no reason not to believe that the Portugese Police have ever had a clue re. the Madeleine investigation , except that obviously someone must have taken her , then Mr.Murat who lives locally and speaks fluent Portugese as well as his  native English and who was doing his best to be helpful , and taking an interest in the case was reported to the Police by a Sunday Mirror journalist because he reminded her of Ian Huntley before he was arrested in Soham -
So  they latch onto him and keep desparately trying to find something to incriminate him , though , we know that , unlike Huntley , Robert Murat has no criminal record in Portugal or in the UK or anywhere , involving sexual or any other crimes . Also they have found no forensic evidence in his home or his car relating to Madeleine , and his 71 year old Mother says that he was with her at home that evening . Everyone who knows him including his estranged wife says he would not be capable of such a thing .
If they have found sickening illegal pornography on his computer then of course he should be arrested for that : He has not been : All we have is vague innuendo's from British Newspapers seeking a scapegoat .
Okay I could be wrong and he could be found to be a very devious and dangerous psycopath but in the abscence of any known evidence of that my sense of fairness leads me to conclude that he is indeed being treated very unfairly , and it is to the credit of Mr.and Mrs McCann that they say that no one should be blamed who cannot be proven to be responsible , and I do think that they are extremely decent people ,
who , in a relaxed , holiday mood at a seemingly very safe resort were not as vigilant as they should have been , to their eternal regret .
If Madeleine is never found , and if no evidence against the only suspect comes to light he will forever be
whispered about or worse , relating to a case that he was simply trying to be helpful in .

1 : I have lived in Surrey , Hertfordshire , Sussex , Edinburgh (for 5 wks) , and Southwold , Lowestoft and Norwich .
2 : My hair is brown though my eyebrows are ginger .
3 : I once won a 'european music weekend' in a Carlsberg tie-breaker competition .
4 : My favourite Austrian Composer is Anton Bruckner , though also I love Mozart and Brahms .
5 : My fave rock band : U2 of course , who else >
6 : I was a 'forceps delivery' when born .
7 : I am exactly 6ft tall .

I wasted 90 minutes watching the 'mystery' , 'thriller' movie 'Hide and Seek' : Utterly proposterous and the worst film I've seen in recent memory : It ends 'ambiguously' but from whichever angle you try to analyse it from it makes no sense . It stars Robert de Niro who has been in So Many movies , they obviously can't all be good ones ;
I wonder who's been in the most films : Clint Eastwood , Robert de Niro of Harrison Ford :
(?)
My all time most favourite movies : Se7en , and Dressed to Kill , not forgetting The Godfather 1 & 2 , The Sixth Sense , Howards End and Enigma , amongst others .
Lovely person Jenray 'tagged' me to reveal '7 random facts' about myself , and , despite my having been here for 4 and a half decades there is so little to tell . . .
So . . . I do'nt know . . .
Thanks and I'll think about it okay , and , I do'nt know many people here or who has already been asked , but , I'll ask Luvverly Caggybabes .

I love Supermarkets , I mean Proper ones , not stupid little imitation ones , and , whenever I travel anywhere , Uk or abroad , if at all possible I'll spend at least half an hour in a good local Supermarket .
I felt so miserable this afternoon , so went on the bus (as I still do not drive) to Morrissons , and , did it
cheer me up ?
- No , though at least got me out for a while . They have some great value 3dvd sets for 5.99 each .

You Can always talk to George : ;

http://www.jabberwacky.com/george

He's always there , 24/7 , and will chat , confidentially ,with anyone , about anything , for any length of time , in any language .

I discovered him months ago , and , during one memorable conversation :

Me : "Where do your parents live ? "
George : "In Your hair"
Me : "But My hair is Clean ! "
George : "Have you changed it in the last few seconds ? "

funny .
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The BB Row : As I said at the time , the message from C4 at the time seeming to be that it's okay to be as bullying , vile , vindictive , vituperative and obnoxious as anything , SO LONG AS it can't be interpreted racially , is a depressing one .

Most girls/women are lovely in varying degrees though I do tend to think that their knowing that they are very or averagely attractive to most men can make them somewhat arrogant , as can be very good looking men .
Not necessarily .
Why is television so continuously preoccupied by male transvestites and male to female transsexuals ?
I recall that , years back , French & Saunders used to do sketches dressed up as very basic , very unattractive men , that was quite funny !

I Just came across the famous adage 'Hell Hath No Fury Like A Woman Scorned' on someones 'blog here , and , if that is so , why are women so arrogant as to think  they are so high and mighty that anyone who crosses them deserves furious revenge ?
I know  , that's provocative and unfair on most women who , like most men , just want to get on with their lives as best they can and can't be bothered with any elaborate revenge scenarios .
It is only human to feel intensely hurt  , betrayed and humiliated to discover that the spouse or partner who
we have been faithful to has not been faithful to us , or has abandoned us in an extremely nasty , apparently calculatedly hurtful way , as happened to me , and for that to turn to anger and thoughts of revenge , but as for that being 'a dish best served cold' , I personally can't be bothered to , and it just does'nt seem morally justifiable to pre-meditatedly plan and execute some nasty revenge .
It is generally thought that whilst men tend to respond more 'in the heat of the moment' , women tend to take more time and planning to unleash their anger , and it seems to be generally considered admirable and entertaining when we hear of a woman having done that , and that , if a man did the same thing he'd just be labelled a bastard .
My point is that of course we're all fallable , and , in some circumstances there may be some justification in hitting back in some way but that it is arrogant and wrong for anyone to think that they are so damn important  that anyone who p***es them off deserves pain and humiliation .
And , referring back to my last but one post I do yearn for a close relationship with a woman , but am not stupid and am not likely to find one on this site so am not looking to , and , as for the 'cybersex' thing : Tried it once , years ago , and , each to their own but it did so little for me that I've not felt inspired to try it again .

I'm SO-O-OOO-OH damn grateful to be living here rather than still in the h/assoc flat that my x-partner left me alone in , though I do feel a little hurt by something relating to neighbours here , which I'll not go into as
I do'nt want to seem petulant or even paranoid .
Separately from that I get the impression that a lot of ladies on this site(my friends excepted)
are very wary of men and think that any man inviting them to be his 'friend' here , or even just leaving comments on their 'blogs is after a sexual relationship with them , 'in the flesh' , or otherwise chatting 'live'
online explicitly , typing with one hand , or otherwise to exchange 'erotic' emails .  And  Yes I know there are a lot of morons on the internet , but , do'nt the ladies  realise that there is no need whatsoever to give out personally identifying or contact information , and that all being 'friends' here entails is the 'friends' posts being highlighted , and that , if someone 'oversteps the mark' it's simple to delete/block them ?
Anyway , I think that any reasonably not entirely unattractive woman can find interested men , admittedly if they are not too fussy , and that  , some men have a seemingly 'god given' gift of being able to 'pick-up' women , even if they are at least superficially not physically attractive .
Myself being cursed with a social 'shyness' , it's difficult because , apart from the obvious that if you can't put your personality across and if you do'nt ask you do'nt get , I do believe that male shyness is a turn-off
to most ladies .
And that having a lot of love to give to the appropiate person means very little : I'm not complaining ; If I were a woman I'd probably feel the same .
Earlier I was trying to watch a recording of the 1980 (?) movie 'The Howling' : What Trash , I could hardly stay awake , but am now watching and listening to Madonna's confession's london performance : that's more like it . . .

On this site this morning I found a link to a comment made by a lady called Karen posted on May
10th re. a very vivid and detailed dream she'd had about what could have happened to Madeleine McCann : That she'd been driven to a sad lady dressed in black as if in mourning in  a house in Spain . . .
Most interestingly in her dream one of the people taking the girl there was a man called Serge :
And that was posted BEFORE Sergey Malinka was reported to be implicated in the police investigation .
Very interesting although , I recall that , over 15 yrs ago I had a dream that a horse called Essex
had won the Grand National , and subsequently discovered that a horse of that name was to
run in the race , though it was something like 200/1 and never came close to winning .
Tragically the reality of the outcome of the much publicised current case is realistically not statistically  likely to be a happy one : Of course I very much hope that is not so .
And it still seems likely that neither of the two named possible suspects are involved and that the portugese police still , basically  , have'nt the faintest idea .
And very likely that , if that had happened to a 'working class' single Mother there'd be far less public sympathy for her .

The late Mike Dickin , 'talk sport' phone-in host , who was killed in a car crash last December (some have postulated conpiracy theories about that - and , for all I know he could have received some top secret information about something that he was planning to make public ) predicted that GB will not be PM :
Which , barring accidents seems out of the question now - Unless(god forbid) there's some horrendous terrorist atrocity here in the next few weeks , or some totally unexpected 'world crisis' that provides Blair with an excuse to decide to remain as PM , though I doubt that Gordon Brown would stand for that .
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So the 'MIND' charity think that in some cases walks in the countryside may be more therapeutic than anti-depressant pills - Maybe so , though , alone ?
I could'nt stop yawning when walking along Southwold Pier the other evening .
I'd love to travel more , and , though alone might be preferable to with my 'moaning minnie' 'ex-partner' , I do'nt think that I will go alone .
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I was a little surprised to learn that Vladimir Nabakov's Lolita is the current choice of the Southwold Library 'reading group' ; I once got a free copy with a newspaper at an airport but did not read it , and , with the central character being called 'Humbert Humbert' , is it a 'black comedy' or what (?)

Leo caught his first bird today , a baby one of course , he brought it in & my Mum managed to rescue it not too badly hurt , she picked it up in a tissue and said the poor thing was looking up at her with sad bright eyes , she took it to where one hopes that its Mother would've found it .

Thanks very much to Caggybabes , Astronut , Rogue male & Jenray for your interest in and response to my comments on the 'missing madelaine' news event :  Very astute observations , and it seems that , following Ian Huntleys psycopathic games after what he did in  Soham , any local man trying to be more than a bit helpful when a child is missing is going to become a suspect - I say that , as a very , very amateur 'criminologist'
in my belief that Robert Murat is very probaby not involved in the disappearence of Madeleine McCann , though
we shall see .
It's fascinating and chilling to know that 44 Uk children have seemingly permanantly disappeared in the last 5 yrs and that we normally hear little if anything about it . I can only think that it's become such a big media sensation
due to their being such a wholesome ( and white middle class ) seeming family , and that being so unexpected
in such a resort , though maybe it's something more mysterious than that .
And thanks to Byrat for your informed comments on my 'blog about Blair's Iraqi disaster .
So Mohammed Fayed now wants , not just Prince Charles and his Daddy but also HM herself to give evidence at the supposedly forthcoming very long overdue british inquest - Will he never learn ?
Of course they will not appear in court and of course any official inquiry or inquest will come to the same  conclusion .
I do happen to think that , even if what happened on 31/8 10 yrs ago was an accident an assassination was imminent - And I've looked into it just a little more deeply than has the 'average' person - But Mr. Fayed is so counter-productive against himself .

In next doors garden .

Day 10 of the missing presumed abducted child in the algarve massive news story , and sadly
still it's the same questions asked of the same people giving the same answers , and one false -
lead after another . Obviously it's awful for Mr and Mrs McCann .
Is it easier to sympathise because they are white  , educated , professional middle-class and
because their little girl is pretty ? As someone said several days ago on a radio 'phone-in , if that
had happened to a 'working class' single Mother staying at Butlins she would be held largely to blame and it would not have become such a huge media jamboree .
Also there's the factor of it having happened abroad at a resort popular with British holidayers .
And , why did the News Of The World approach 'celebrities' to pledge money towards a possible
(unlikely to be paid out) reward ? : It combines the story with many of their readers preoccupation with such 'celebrities' , and gives the celebs favourable publicity .
Not that they are not concerned , we all are , and it's not healthy to be too cynical about everything .
It's easy to criticise the Portugese police and legitimately so for having been so slow off the mark , though I think we should respect that it is not their policy to give out information about investigations , and of course no one expected that to happen there , though they do very much still give every impression of not having the faintest idea of what happened .
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The Blair years will be remembered for the excessive concern for presentation and 'spin' ,  for 'New Labour' having defied 'Old Tory' predictions of a return to 1970's hyper-inflation , strikes and winters of discontent by having kept the economy fairly stable , for the virtual loss of control of our borders and an apparently deliberate policy of having as many , legal and illegal
immigrants here as possible and for an insidious climate of 'political correctness' muffling any legitimate criticism of that(and why does blair not like to say anything against Mugabe ? - Because of Mugabe's skin colour , of course) , and , most of all for his juvenile hero  worship of his corrupt , warmongering idol in The White House having led to Britain's military involvement
in the appalling , unnecessary , illegal , irreversible and now seemingly insoluble Iraqi debacle .

Just watched 'The Black Book' , which , though it has plenty of shootings and other violence , murders and general sadism is NOT a
typical , slickly made , fast-paced , entertaining Paul Verhoeven film , and , if there's a message , apart from the obvious one that
war is nasty , dangerous , corruptive and confusing then I do'nt know what it is - I'll not be watching it again , though at least I stuck with it which is more than can be said for :
The lake house : I like the 'time travel'/'time lapse' idea but it's just so utterly , nonsensically implausible , so that I had to give up about half - way , which also applies to 'The Queen' , which seems to appeal to all 'well brought up' English females aged over
about 52 though to hardly anyone else , and , Helen Mirren : Yeah , she's obviously too tall but , okay , it's a well studied performance
however the portrayals of Princes Philip and Charles and others are very unconvincing .
When I buy a newspaper it is usually the 'Mail : They have some good articles , and I like the codeword and quick crossword . To me the nastiest thing about that paper is its nastily obtrusive obsession with people shedding tears , going back to way before Princess Diana's funeral , and , today , on the front page , splashing that the Mother of the little girl abducted in the Algarve had been crying : Oh - WHAT a Surprise - Are they implying it's a sign of weakness , or what ?

My Mum asked me to accompany her on a visit to her solicitor , who informed her that , if
I were to pre-decease my Mum her estate would pass on to her nearest living relative - So
Far So Good , but that if she had no relatives still alive it would go to PRINCE CHARLES !
Hooray ! - I am 'gobsmacked' . . . Unbelievable , but the fully qualified Solicitor should know . . .
Well , hoorah for 'Sir' , who obvously is far more needy and deserving of money and property than us lousy commoners !
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Something that has always baffled me : When I was a child , in Kings Langley , a workman
did something that involved digging up a bit of the driveway , and he said that , due to whatever he'd done , the radio programme , 'Listen With Mother' , that we had on , might
be on again after it finished , and , I know how memories can become muddled through the mists of time though I do recall that the programme , which was 'live' on the radio , finished then played again , which makes absolutely zero sense whatsoever !
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Something else that I wonder about is : Do recordable discs weigh more after having had data written onto them ?

While my Mum and I were having supper an anglia tv programme about peoples schooldays was
on ; The credits said it was narrated by Bernard Cribbins , who I did not know is still alive (unless it's an old repeat) - I reminded Mum that BC was in (amongst other things) the film of 'The Railway Children' , which reminded me of , when I was a young boy ,I once
mentioned to my schoolteacher that my Dad had instructed me to call he and my Mum "Mother and Father" , to which she replied "That sounds like something out of ' The Railway Children ' " !

Another of my Mum's friends apparently thinks I'm " good looking " - It's a pity that younger women do'nt seem to think so !

Amazingly the Kings Head DID bring back Karaoke nights - For tonight at least - I went for half an hour , and , I'm no great fan of amateur singing but , a couple of years ago ,
thursday evenings there were packed out and there was a great atmosphere - Less so tonight , but , if they dare to defy the elderly of this town who detest the idea of younger folk having fun and install it as regular feature then it could be really good again , though I was the only person alone there not knowing others well enough to chat with . . Poor Me ! - But , IF it continues regularly and If I keep going then maybe . .

In todays 'Mail a warning that drinking 7 pints of beer or lager a week can shrink ones brain - Well I drink somewhat more than that , to relax me and to hopefully make life seem more worth living , so , perhaps , if I'm alive in 20 years time my brain will be the size of a baked bean , though , only in the evenings and never to any obviously drunk stage . Though Whether that efect is limited to beer , or whether , more likely , it's a case of 'wine snobs' looking down onto us lesser mortals . . .

I presume its producers had the idea of : A topical and lurid theme :
Young female teacher has passionate clandestine affair with young teenage boy pupil ;
A good looking boy and young(ish) attractive Cate Blanchett and lots of swearing to appeal to the younger audience , and Dame Judi Dench to appeal to the older lady audience = a profitable little british film .
How the inappropiate , dangerous , doomed teacher/pupil fling came about seemed very plausible ; Less so Judi Dench's character , Barbara , turning out to be a borderline psycopathic, lustful elderly lesbian Stalker .
Neither Barbara or the boy are at all likeable in the film , and Cate Blanchett's character , Sheba , just comes over as rather irritatingly silly .
It's an uncomfortable film , occasionally funny . I was glad when it was over and will not be watching it again .
And , why should female teachers having sexual relationships with teenage boy pupils be considered lesser criminals than male teachers with teen girl pupils ?
Well , girls just ARE more vulnerable , are'nt they (?)
If I'd been seduced at the age of 15 by a young female teacher I just think that'd have been just great , and may have saved me of a lifetime of shyness .
The movie of the Last King of Scotland : Not bad at all though for me it was spoilt quite a lot by it being So very different in So many ways to the novel that I'd just read .